Getting back into Bondage

When you top from the bottom whilst feeling submissive to someone who is not really embracing the lifestyle, there is a line between trying to do her a favour and pushing your own kink. I don't believe that it is possible not to push your kink at all but there is plenty of doubt that what you do is doing her a favour.

This weekend one of my topping activities was clearly converted into being in favour. I was not given the option to share the bed but it was made clear from the start that the floor was my fate for at least this weekend.

Last night we progressed into bondage. Usually in the past there were serious boundaries to cross to even be allowed self bondage in her presence. This weekend she merely nodded me off making sure the keys were located far away enough for me not to be able to reach them.  When I hinted that some teasing may be really mean she only smiled and said that no teasing was somewhat meaner. I do wonder if she has done some research.

Falling asleep in subspace

Sometimes I feel bad when topping from the bottom, but often I feel I can justify it.

Yesterday was a very important day for both of us and I wanted to make sure that my mind would reflect this significance appropriately. I wanted her to know how important she is to me and that I will suffer for her to be happy. I tried to explain this to her by asking her to lock my hands behind my back when I went to sleep. She did. I loved what this did to my mind when I laid there through over an our of not being able to sleep before finally I dozed off.

I woke up later and used the keys she insisted that I have available but I wanted to have fallen asleep tied and uncomfortable.