Being the Chauffeur

A few weeks ago, my wife asked me to give her a lift into town where she met some friends for a Saturday night. I did, but felt annoyed when she was more than an hour late for her friends. I had planned to drive back home and watch a DVD and then pick her up. So being delayed, I said I would not pick her up until a lot later than what was originally planned. When I did pick her up, she was drunk and asked if I could her and her friends home, which I did. 

Last weekend, we discussed options how to move deeper into the form or relationship that I crave. To me an important part of this is that I want her to take more control and authority. Sometimes she is very authoritative but at other time she is not. This event to me is a prime example. There are a number of things that I wish she had done:

• She should not have accepted, that I complained that she was running late. When we discussed the plans for Saturday night she did not even need to mention a specific time. All she could have requested for me to be available within a minutes notice to driver her into town from say 7 pm. 
• The Edinburgh City Centre is a mess when it comes to driving and the Tram works mean there are closed roads and poorly signed diversions. Surely her planned route was incorrect and I complained because she was not exactly sure where the club she was heading for was. Every second of this I was hoping she would turn into her dominant mode and tell me off. Surely she should just tell me in the afternoon where she wanted to go to and ask me to make sure I knew the route - even if that meant having a look for current diversion on my own.
• Asking her to stay out longer was clearly unacceptable - and again when I did ask for this I was expecting her to turn on her heel and tell me off. She should never have accepted that, instead she should  have ordered me to stay nearby and be on call within 5 minutes. There were clearly plenty of things I could have done by just bringing my laptop.
• When I arrived for the pick-up and drove all of them home, she was very glad and thanked me several times. Why? She really should expect me to do that

This might all give the impression that my wife is not dominant at all. But there were clearly elements where she was and I do not want to leave these unmentioned:

• When she thanked me for driving all of them home, she mentioned "You know not to ever expect that from me - right?"
• When the three of them were (slightly drunk) in the car she said "It is so sweet of you to drive is - don't expect me to be sweet to you later" - right in front of her friend. I sometimes wonder how much her friends know about how I feel.