One of the downsides with such a distant friendship is, that I do remember who I have discussed all this with but tend to forget how much detail I shared over the years.
About three years ago I had a long walk with this friend on a wonderful summer evening. relationship was going through a rough period at the time, she knew and until today I am unsure if she had second thoughts - then that is - I am sure she does not now. She is in many ways an open women but with principles, so I knew by explaining some outline of my desires I would be more than clear that nothing could ever develop between us - yet I knew I was not offending her.
Over the last 6 months, I got to know her better. She knows my partner and has been a lodger for a shirt while. Over the last month she has looked after our house while we were travelling. Yesterday I had a fairly long trip with her in the car and we discussed relationships for over 3 hours.
She is currently dating a guy who is her senior by almost all of her age. She is happy. I felt it was weird. The guy is recently divorced. It is hard to imagine that he is interested in committing, she is looking for commitment. I do express my thoughts even if they are unpopular.
Then she struck me by remembering more about our past conversation than I had ever thought I would have shared with her. She described my relationship as weird as one she does not understand. I got confused. I often feel that the submissive male is the most committed a man can get. Serving whatever the orders are, providing if requested, accepting much less probability to get sex and orgasms, I realized, that I'd be too committed for many. I am sure she is doing the right thing as well.
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