When I first drew up the topics I wanted to write about in this series, I picked this title in lack of a better name. I am sure everyone has different definitions, so - yet again - let me provide mine before going into the detail.
Dependence is giving up my freedom of action and controlling what and when I do. It does not mean I depend on the person I submit to, but my actions depend on the instructions I am given.
Independence is the level of freedom I have in how to execute these instructions.
Let me give you the example of the massage. If my partner asks me to give her a massage, this is to me an order that I will follow. We will show where she wants to be massaged but It is my freedom, my independence to decide how I massage her. This independence is very important to me. It is the freedom of a submissive and it is what I wanted to test in the long precursor of the session I had when I saw a professional mistress.
Our scene started by text message instructions where I had to go and I was essentially asked to walk about 4 miles criss cross through the city. Each time I reached a location I was asked to wait further instructions. Both when walking and when waiting my mind was trying to be creative. I tried to walk a route that I was unfamiliar with, when arriving at the locations and waiting I was trying to sit or stand in a place where I would see this location in a way I had never seen it before. What I wanted to achieve is a slight feeling of control and dependence, a reminder that someone controlled me whilst trying to enjoy myself the best I could.
This is the critical bit for me. If I have any level of freedom, I want more. If I am constrained I will try to make most of it within the bounds that I have. It triggers thoughts that otherwise would not come to live, actions that I would not embark on. it makes me experiment with my mind.
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