Aftercare

The lack of active community participation means for me that I am not sure how well I understand the typical FLR relationship if there is such a thing at all, but yesterday there was a moment when I was very frustrated. The reason for this frustration may be a lack of aftercare.

We both headed to bed very early by our standards (about 9 pm) and I felt my partner really wanted some more massages. I spend a while massaging her body and it became clear she was after more than I foot and back massage. 

I kissed and touched her in the way that I know increases her arousal and then complied with her order to hug me. I was somewhat frustrated that she turned away from me while I was hugging her. It felt like I was giving this hug to her, but there was nothing she gave in return, I  kept hugging her for 20 minutes and then slowly started to massaged her again. Starting as a gentle back rub, his gradually developed into a second orgasm and hug and shortly after midnight I was finally asked to head off the bed onto my hard and less comfy mattress at the foot of the bed. Now readers will know that this is my choice but I was very glad that there was a clear expectation from her to comply with this self imposed rule.

Once there, I was given permission to masturbate. This was the first time I was allowed to masturbate on this this layer of foam separating me from the floor. When I masturbate I usually arch my body. A normal mattress nicely reflects this shape but the half inch layer of from, does not. What appeared to be a normal masturbation exercise turned into a fairly energy consuming acrobatics, where I ended up arching my whole body with my rear end  raised probably about 2 inches above the floor. I am not athletic at the best of times but this was a tough workout and I was truly exhausted. 

My partner had listened to my heavy breathing and movements and commented something when I was done. I did not dare to try to get her to hug me. But I knew I was unable to head back to sleep straight away. I watched some tv before heading back to bed. Despite having just come I felt very submissive for giving her the peace she wanted to sleep. Feeling submissive was a kind of after care, but it was also a cold feeling. I think I could learn to love that feeling, but I am not sure if I want to unless she asks me to.