Privileges

We recently discussed our upcoming wedding and when joking about finances and divorce, my partner mentioned that she only needs an annulment until the marriage actually has been consumed and considering the nature of our relationship that may well be some time.

Whilst it was a semi-joking conversation and divorce and annulment are both far from both out minds, I was reminded of this conversation today when I read the blog of Mistress Darcy. In one of her posts she mentioned that it is a privilege for a sub to use his tongue on her and that those subs are unworthy of intercourse. Whilst we do not have a cuckolding lifestyle, there is one common theme. Usually I massage my partner and often that is about it. If I get it right and she is in a good mood, then I might use my finger to give her and an orgasm or at least tease her a little towards it. Even less often, I will be allowed to use my tongue. With our current long distance relationship this is usually no more often than once a month. I might ask to be allowed to masturbate after these events but intercourse is very rare, so that I sometimes wonder if our first marital intercourse will be this side of Christmas.

Reading Mistress Darcy's blog made me realize that however submissive it may be to go down on my partner, it is not a humiliation, it is a privilege that is to be earned, and proven to be deserved each time my partner puts enough trust in me to allow me to go down. It is a skill to get it right, not to go straight for the kill but yet to make it an experience that she will enjoy.

By allowing me to touch her, she has shown me the faith in me that I can give her a wonderful experience. If I do not deliver, I fail her trust and her desire. It can be as frustrating as a bad day at work if not worse. I love having this responsibility and this trust and I take pride in giving my best in making sure I do not fail her.