I just read Thumper's article "Still Hard". I am not sure if I can follow him. I think for both of us the true delight is the experience of giving pleasure. If I have observed my partner correctly though, a long massage that might arouse her can be ultimately more pleasurable than being brought to an orgasm.
I also sometime have the feedback that there is a point when she decides whether she wants to reach orgasm or merely wants to enjoy the sensation. I am constantly trying to find the little signs that give away the route we are on as I know that the non orgasm route desires different sensations than the orgasm route.
Yes, the further we travel on this route the more frustrating it is not to give her the orgasm. But I always feel this is very short sighted. As I wrote previously the highlight to me is the hug. And that can be a lot deeper without her reaching the climax.
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