Scared

I am somewhat scared. We have been living in a long distance relationship for 7 years. We saw each other almost every weekend but there were three kinds of weekends:

• Those when we did things together - much like a normal couple
• Those when I travelled 10 hours to see her but she decided to prefer a book over really interacting with me.
• Those when I was told to stay at home because she wanted a quiet weekend.

Things will soon change and I will live with her permanently. I am looking forward to it. I am scared. I love her, and I want to get everything right fo her, but I know I cannot. As a sub, I function best when I am close to her but beneath her. I am aroused when arousal is all I can get. I have always preferred the weekends where my pleasure was completely irrelevant to those when she allowed me to get pleasure.

All of this will soon change. I am working on a smooth transition but a transition that I can enjoy as much as she can. I hope she will learn to like it, I hope one day I will stop dominating from the bottom. Until then I hope she understands that I am merely trying to help her, find and develop her domination.